how hairy? two words: wookie tits
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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