Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
