Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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