Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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