I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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