I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
