why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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