What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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