Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
