The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize