you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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