so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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