ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Randomize
