I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
