I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have tasted many bathrooms
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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