sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Randomize
