just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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