Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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