I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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