He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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