Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
