That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
