I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize