I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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