Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
