you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Randomize
