remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize