Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I don't deserve a penis
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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