I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
this hospital has no fireball
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
