We're like a lot better than the average bears
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize