soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
