i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
My dick has a subreddit
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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