Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
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