so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
