Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
