You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
