yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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