some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
