So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
