seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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