My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
