I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I can't turn off my feet"
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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