is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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