this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
