I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
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