i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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