Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
