don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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