I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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