its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
