Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
