So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
