sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
