The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
