Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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