Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
did i just pee glitter
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
