Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
