Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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