I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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