I can't watch pbs sober anymore
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
