Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
