you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
