Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
