Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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