i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
only you would photoshop your dick
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
