Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
